Not Me Monday

Not Me Monday

Concept shamelessly stolen from a vanilla bloggy frend, thanks RF.

I did not wake up this morning and immediately crawl into TM’s arms on the futon because it would be the last fabulously warm hug full of unconditional love and acceptance, and sweet wonderful cuddle time, I’d get for a while.

I did not make an embarrasedly smart assed comment about being glad a piece of equipment still actually functioned after not appologizing for its behavior.

I did not text TM back and forth, across the spouse’s lap, while we cabbed to my office, because I was getting sadder and sadder that she was leaving.

I did not waste time at work building a spreadsheet to calculate weighted grades so I could keep a running track from now on of class grades and not scramble at the end of the semester to figure them out before the professor updates PeopleSoft, because I am not a complete geek.

I did not come out to another long-time friend and she did not give me unconitional support.

I did not get barely any workk done because my head was fogged with dread about the impending conversation with the spouse tonight.

I did not ask TM if my baby blanket was still on the futon, or if she swiped it.

I did not throw a temper tantrum on Twitter.

I did not come home and find previously mentioned blanket and hold it close, inhaling the scent of TM’s lotion.

I did not have a horribly painful conversation with the spouse in which, among other things, I did not tell her that had she reacted the way she has to me being authentic with her before we got married that I never would have married her.

I did not just go find the blanket it again because this day has sucked and I’m crying.

I do not have to still outline the keynote presentation I’m giving in the morning.

I do not have an incredible best friend. And my best friend certainly would never invent a work-related excuse to come make sure I hadn’t completely fallen apart.