Monthly Archives: May 2011

What a Weekend

What a Weekend

I meant to write this post nearly a week ago, but apparently my inner lazy kicked in and it didn’t happen.

Last week’s Not Me Monday post vaguely alluded to the fact that TM came for a visit. If you read that, or read my tweets, you probably figured this out, but it was a freaking awesome weekend and I’m so glad she came.

The fun started off Friday night when she and Scarlet picked me and the spouse up from work. We ventured out to some mexican restaurant with the help of Scarlet’s GPS, and yet still got lost (a not at all uncommon occurance with her). Scarlet dropped the three of us off at the apartment and we watched a couple of Big Bang Theory episodes that were stacked up on the DVR. And completely got TM hooked. We also watched Evan Almighty and a few episodes of Glee and the Simpsons. It was the perfect time to break out the cheese popcorn TM brought from her connecting airport too. Mmm, love that cheese popcorn.

I was able to spend much of the night, in fact the weekend, holding TM’s hand. The feelings of unconditional love, support and strength I got from that simple gesture were amazing. She makes me believe it’s okay to be me, and whatever the rest of the world says or thinks, with her I can let go and be real. The spouse crashed out about 12:30 and I used the opportunity, plus an extra episode of the Simpsons, to get some cuddle time in with TM.

Saturday morning we again tagged up with Scarlet and went to an Amish market outside of the City. We loaded up on goodies like Cranberry nut bread, pineapple bread, sharp cheddar cheese, cucumbers, tomatos, potatoes, and woopie pies (they didn’t have the mint ones though, and I’m pretty sure neither TM nor I ended up eating any. We left all 8 for the spouse. Yuck.). This was also the morning of the amazing breakfast dog. If there’s a better breakfast than scrambled eggs, cheese, and bacon wrapped in pretzel dough, I haven’t found it. Well, the cheese could have been cheddar instead of american, and it would have been that much better, but it was still super tasty.

After we got home, we threw in Season one of TBBT and watched it until it was time to meet up with friends for Louisiana’s birthday dinner. Managed a few more hours of cuddle time too. I’ve been sleeping like crap for a long time, and TM keeps trying to get me to sleep any chance I can. With the exception of toggling to the next episode or changing the disc, I was either out, or in that hazy half sleep half awake state for part of the afternoon. Lying in her arms is amazing, she knows exactly how to get me to relax and feel safe. I actually would have slept more, but I fought it because I felt like it was wasting precious time. Yeah, my inner two year old again. Next time, I’m giving her the wireless keyboard so she can either toggle the episodes for me, or hide it and I’ll just have to deal with the ending credit music, and likely sleep a little more because of it :).

I had to make a quick stop at Best Buy to pick up a new XM receiver, ours was on the verge of crapping out. TM, Zelda and her husband Gamer came with me. On the way down, Zelda asked about TM and I holding hands all night. TM, being less frozen than me, explained that she was worried about me (Zelda now knows the whole story, but she knew something had been going on for a while). TM and I are both very tactile people, and we tend to communicate through touch. Also, dang sighted people, your eyes work too well. 🙂

We got home and I instaled the XM receiver. Which sadly , I didn’t get working for another few days, but it turned out that it was my problem, not so much XM’s. I thought the receiver wasn’t getting an activation signal, but it turns out that with a receiver connected directly to our home theater receiver, you have to hit an additional button to do direct channel number entry. Geek fail.

We polished off the season of Big Bang Theory and started in on Gilmore Girls. I fell asleep on the couch and the spouse went to bed, apparently TM convinced her to leave me instead of waking me. I did wake up, but moved over to the futon and laid there with TM for a while. (you know, I recall hearing, “go [back] to sleep,” and, “damn you woke up,” more times this weekend than I think I have in my entire life. If I didn’t know she loves me, I might worry that the only way she can put up with me is when I’m out cold.)

Sunday brought more cuddle time, season 2 Gilmore Girls, and general vegging. TM and I cooked dinner that night. We made bacon cheeseburgers, and mashed potatoes. Well, TM did ninety seven percent of the work, I just did what she told me to helped out, and got poked in the lip with a fork. Like I said on Twitter, I suspect she has a mildly sadistic streak, I just was really not expecting it to show up like that. She was trying to feed me a piece of the potato, while checking to see if they were done, and only using the fork to find my mouth (little tip honey, use your other hand as a guide next time smirk), and it took a couple of tries.

We hung out for a few more hours and went to bed.

Monday morning was sad for me. I had an incredible weekend and wasn’t at all looking forward to TM going back home. Though she’ll be back for the summer, so I at least know when I’ll see her again. I’m so thankful that she came out to check on me, um, I mean do work for the summer gig, and that I was finally able to feel a little more whole for the first time in a while.

My love for my best friend continues to grow stronger every day. She’s incredible. She reads me with seemingly no effort. She knows what I’m thinking, even when I’m not able to say it clearly. She knows that a touch, or a hug, can melt me or break my tension and stress. She keeps a 2-month long IM conversation going, even when we’re in the same room, because some things just can’t be said out loud. She loves all of me. There’s so much more, but you all don’t want to be bored with that. 🙂

Only 26 days until the 18th. Not that I’m counting.

Not Me Monday

Not Me Monday

Concept shamelessly stolen from a vanilla bloggy frend, thanks RF.

I did not wake up this morning and immediately crawl into TM’s arms on the futon because it would be the last fabulously warm hug full of unconditional love and acceptance, and sweet wonderful cuddle time, I’d get for a while.

I did not make an embarrasedly smart assed comment about being glad a piece of equipment still actually functioned after not appologizing for its behavior.

I did not text TM back and forth, across the spouse’s lap, while we cabbed to my office, because I was getting sadder and sadder that she was leaving.

I did not waste time at work building a spreadsheet to calculate weighted grades so I could keep a running track from now on of class grades and not scramble at the end of the semester to figure them out before the professor updates PeopleSoft, because I am not a complete geek.

I did not come out to another long-time friend and she did not give me unconitional support.

I did not get barely any workk done because my head was fogged with dread about the impending conversation with the spouse tonight.

I did not ask TM if my baby blanket was still on the futon, or if she swiped it.

I did not throw a temper tantrum on Twitter.

I did not come home and find previously mentioned blanket and hold it close, inhaling the scent of TM’s lotion.

I did not have a horribly painful conversation with the spouse in which, among other things, I did not tell her that had she reacted the way she has to me being authentic with her before we got married that I never would have married her.

I did not just go find the blanket it again because this day has sucked and I’m crying.

I do not have to still outline the keynote presentation I’m giving in the morning.

I do not have an incredible best friend. And my best friend certainly would never invent a work-related excuse to come make sure I hadn’t completely fallen apart.