Remember when I mentioned I was a complex individual? Case and point.
How, in an online sense, does one handle one’s different-gendered play personalities? My dominant, and biological, self is entirely male. However, often times, 85%-ish, my submissive self is female.
That’s kind of evolved though and maybe is partially a result of the fact that I’m not actually, RL, playing with anyone at the moment. In the past, I was spanked in both a male and female persona, but the male persona was actually me, where as when there was roleplay involved I was “female”. I don’t just mean a crossdresser. I see her as a biological woman. (obvious physical limitations aside)
[There’s actually a whole other discussion in here about whether crossdressing and submission reflects a negative opinion of women, thanks to a conversation thread I saw on Fetlife, but I’m not going to get into that now except to say, not for me.]
As for the question at hand. I’ve been wondering about it for a while, but a chat I saw today kind of brought it up again. The individuals in the chat room were poking fun of people who had different accounts, one for a male and one for a female “player”. They were supposing that the “female” accounts were because, “male subs get less attention.” From personal observation I think the explanation is true, but I wonder about the original hypothesis.
I have, at times in the past, used accounts with female names on IRC and MUD systems to experience roleplay as a female submissive. but, every time I do this I end up feeling guilty and nervous that someone will figure me out, because I don’t do something “right”, and not understand. I think I could understand that reaction too, particularly if it was anyone I played with multiple times, and/or had established some sort of long-term roleplay with. It does seem, and probably is, dishonest, but where does one actually go to find someone who is interested in playing with a man who subs as a woman? (Fortunately, I do know at least one woman who understands it.)
Right now, at least on Spanko and FL, my profile tells it like it is. Hopefully that’s good enough, but I think people just look at usernames and go from there, ignoring any profile that might exist (at least this seems to be the case on Spanko). Maybe I just need a generic enough one that I can use in either “role”.
I didn’t jump in to really engage and discuss it with the conversers, partly because I was doing homework, partly because I wasn’t sure I could contribute my thoughts coherantly, and partly because, even though we claim to be a community of open and understanding, I think the tendancy to riticule that which we do not groc is still there (and what really defines a community anyway), and I didn’t feel like dealing with it at the moment.
Yes, yes, I realize online play is nowhere near as good as the real thing, but hey, for me it works better than porn videos 🙂
Oy, this post seems kind of disjointed, but if you can make anything of it, thoughts? How do y’all handle online personas? Are they completely identical to your real self, or does it even matter (providing you never get close to or meet anyone you play with online)?
[I’m strictly talking about roleplay in this discussion. Because, other than my real name, specifics about my employment, and a few minor things, my Twitter/blog self is trying to reflect the whole and real me.]