#Adventblog Post 14: Work Holiday Parties

#Adventblog Post 14: Work Holiday Parties

Holiday parties with coworkers and bosses are sometimes weird, fun, but weird.

This evening was my organization’s annual holiday gathering. Of course the idea is that you’ll relax and enjoy a little downtime with the people you work with, and in some cases consider friends, and mostly that’s what happens. However, a few things stand out:

  • The director of HR tending bar makes you feel like you’re being judged on alcohol consumption.
  • Being told it’s time to clean up so you can get back to the eating and drinking makes you wonder if the Executive Director in question is off his rocker.
  • The Big Boss gets rather animated when he lets his hair down. It’s kind of fun to watch.
  • there will be leftovers for a week.

All in all it was a fun evening, but I’m blowing off the party tomorrow for the members, cuz that’s just too crowded. 🙂

#Adventblog Post 13: How People Find Me

#Adventblog Post 13: How People Find Me

“Strange”, “confusing”, “snarky”, are some of the most common answers, but this time I’m talking about analitics. Over the past 30 days:

  • there have been 133 visits (this one only counts Dec 1-15)
  • 47 people came from search engines
  • 20 people came from Mija’s blog
  • 20 people came from Twitter
  • 7 people got here from Serenity’s
  • 2 from Em
  • 1 from Lunargirl

Of the people finding this blog from search engines, here is a sampling of terms:

Some variation on elizabeth getting a spanking (13)
Wow, it must have been an unlucky month to be a woman named Elizabeth (or as one searcher put it, “Elizabrth”). Or, possibly looking at it another way, if your name is Elizabeth, there are many people willing to spank you.
People wanting to be spanked by someone name Elizabeth (2)
There you go lady spankers. 🙂
“i am going to spank my girlfriend and make her stand in the corner”
Right on. Just remember, safe sane and concentual.
“i sassed and he spanked”
Seems like the thing to do.
perfect Spanking (3)
I hope youfind yours. mmm.
“please raise my skirt and spank me”
Me too, please?
“panties around knees”
Right where they belong.
“she made me blow a nut during i woke up”
I… I don’t understand.
“crossdressing we went parking and i lost my panties”
Again, insert confused face. You lost them while you were driving? Because, I’m not following how you could lose them while parked. Unless… you know, no, I’m not going there. 🙂

#Adventblog Post 12: I Have The Strangest Dreams

#Adventblog Post 12: I Have The Strangest Dreams

It’s rare I remember my dreams. I’m often convinced I just don’t have them, but last night’s was just odd.

I was in my office with The Midget and our friend S. Someone was giving a tour to a transgendered teen (don’t ask me why she identified herself as such). Then, inexplicably, a bottle of pop exploded in S’s bag, shooting over my office like a fire hose.

That’s all I remember. Maybe this is why my brain pipes my dreams straight to /dev/null, they’re just too odd.

#Adventblog Post 11: 11/22/63

#Adventblog Post 11: 11/22/63

A couple mornings ago I finally finished reading 11/22/63, the new Stephen King novel. I’m going to try and avoid spoilers, but I’m sorry if I slip. Reader beware.

The basic premise of the book is, “If you could go back in history and change one pivotal event, would you?” In this case, that event is the assassination of John Kennedy.

I have always had a sort of fascination with time travel, parallel universes, and the like. I’m not sure why, but I think the fundamental question of “what if” occurs to us all from time to time. How would my life be different if I was a better student as a child? in college? If I had told my Mom the truth? I’m not saying I regret my choices, but sometimes I wonder.

But there’s the butterfly effect to consider. If I had never done x, would y have happened? If I hadn’t been in the place I was at in 2007 would I have met the Midget? Would we have met at a different time and place and still found each other? Does the smallest change fundamentally alter everything to come? Could I really be my own grandpa? This is only considering a unified timestream. I haven’t even begun to talk about the multiverse (and I’m not going to, cuz my brain hurts already).

The protagonist of the book struggles with all these issues, and many others, including whether to go back from whence he came, and the book throws several curveballs along the way, such as introducing the concept that time doesn’t want to be altered and that the amount of resistance offered by time is proportional to the impact the change will have on the future.

It’s a good read and I highly recommend it to anyone who might want a book that’ll keep you engaged and give you a few abstract things to consider, not to mention yanking you around from time to time.

#Adventblog Post 10: A Touching Article

#Adventblog Post 10: A Touching Article

Em posted this article from the Boston Globe about a transgenedered teen’s experiences on Twitter earlier today. The article also touches on a clinic in Boston that is working to address the issues faced by transgendered individuals long before they are typically identified and treated. It’s a very touching article, well worth a read.

There’s more I could say on the subject, but my wrist is bugging me again (I took a nasty fall walking to lunch today) so I’ll save it for another post.

Sorry Em, didn’t mean to steal two post ideas from you. 🙂

#AdventBlog Post 9: Today’s Perfect Spanking

#AdventBlog Post 9: Today’s Perfect Spanking

Shamelessly stolen from Emma because she said I could.

Lately I’ve been fixating on the idea of a hard spanking. It’s been a long time since I got one, if I really ever did, and I want to know if it’ll be as good as it is in my head, and even if I can take it. The recent discussions on twitter haven’t exactly helped get it out of my head either. Thanks, friends. 🙂

She tells me I’m about to get a hard spanking (because I was surly, because I procrastinated, because I forgot about the computer project I was supposed to get done for the volunteer gig, it really doesn’t matter) and she wants me in the corner to wait for her to be ready. I nervously walk to the corner, place my nose against the wall, and wait for her. I try to stay still, but I squirm a little with anticipation of what is to come.

After several minutes, she tells me it is time and orders me to come to her. I slowly move to stand before her, apologizing and telling her I’m sorry for displeasing her. She informs me that she knows, but I need to learn a lesson and she has decided a long hard spanking over her lap is what I need and that it will hopefully help me remember the next time.

After positioning me across her knees, she slowly raises my skirt and exposes my panties, wrapping an arm around my waist to hold me in position. Her hand rubs gently over the material as she scolds me for being a fully grown adult who apparently needs to be reminded like a little girl how to behave. She says that she intends to warm my bottom thoroughly and will do this as often as it takes.

Her hand begins raining swats down over my panty covered bottom. Alternating cheeks, occasionally continuing the scolding. After several minutes, her fingers hook in my waistband and, despite my protests to not have my bottom bared, my panties are soon at my knees. She raises her hand to her shoulder and peppers my bottom with hard rapid swats. Moving between my cheeks and the junction where my thighs meet my bottom. She makes sure to spend time concentrating on that area so I will feel this spanking after it’s over.

After many minutes, she slows her spanking, and I wonder if she’s done. Feeling me relax, she quickly divests me of that notion, “oh, little girl, don’t think I’m done yet.”

Her hand lifts from my bottom and I soon feel a cool hard surface lightly caressing my cheeks. I wiggle slightly and she taps the object. “mmm, you’re gonna find out what this hairbrush feels like tonight. We’ll see if it helps your behavior.”

“Please, Midget. I’m sorry. Don’t…”

She’s obviously not in the mood to debate the issue, as I feel the hard wood crack against my bottom before I can finish my sentence. Gasping at the impact of the sturdy brush, I don’t have much time to think about it as she quickly covers my bottom with more swats. “Oh– Ahhh, Midget. I. OWWW. P-p-please.”

“shhh, little one. It’s supposed to hurt.”

I wiggle and squirm across her lap as she continues to spank me. She is being incredibly thorough, making sure my cheeks are both flaming hot, and my sit spot is well covered.

Eventually, the spanking slows, and is more drawn out and sensual, but she continues to cover me with hard strokes, reminding me that I’m loved, and well cared for. After I’m warn out, and exhausted, she sets the brush aside and pulls me into her arms. I melt against her and relax into her love.

Soon after, she strips me, puts me in my nightgown, and tucks me into bed beside her, where I fall asleep contentedly, in her arms.

#Adventblog Post 8: Homework Break

#Adventblog Post 8: Homework Break

I’m working on the final project for the C# class I’m taking this semester which involves creating a graphical user interface. I’m not a fan of GUI design mostly because I suck at it. 🙂 I give you the following little ditty that I composed moments ago, with apologies to Good King Wensesslaus and possibly the world:

I hate interface design, It can kiss my backside
What the hell’s so wrong with text? It works for me just fine
Darn you people and your need, to make everything look pretty
This parody’s over now, it’s really not that witty

#Adventblog Post 7: Where to Find the Best hot chocolate

#Adventblog Post 7: Where to Find the Best hot chocolate

The Midget and I have been compiling a list of the best places to find hot chocolate this time of year. Sticking to regional/national chains, here is our preliminary list:

  1. Dunkin Doughnuts. What’s not to like? Not only is the hot chocolate smooth and creamy, but you can get a chocolate doughnut with sprinkles too. We were very disappointed when we found out the Dunkin Express at the train station doesn’t stock this.
  2. 7-11. Kind of envious of Sheek for having one right in her building.
  3. Panera. Closely tied with 7-11 actually. Goes great with a sausage, egg and cheese bagel.
  4. McDonald’s. Peppermint only (the plain is blah).
  5. Starbucks. Acceptable, but has a strange after taste.

This is by no means a scientific study and is purely based on our taste buds.

Thoughts? Other places we need to check out to add to the list? Discuss in the comments.

#Adventblog Post 6: cast of Characters

#Adventblog Post 6: cast of Characters

Marie‘s comment on Twitter this morning reminded me I use a lot of pseudonyms here and many of you may have no idea who I’m talking about. This is eventually going to be more fleshed out, as a collaboratoin between me and HTe Midget, but for now, here’s a brief rundown of the people I deal with who I can’t link to :):

The Midget (often simply TM): My friend for almost five years. Best friend since I can’t remember. Partner. Someday will be my wife. Incredible woman who encourages me, cares for me, gives me strength, and lets me do the same for her. Met through mutual friend who we both can no longer very much stand because of his philandering ways. Saying we met through the Internet, while technically true, sounds creepy and wrong to her. Admits to being geek adjacent; massively in denial about her true level of geekness. My anima gemella.

The church of JM: The organization I work for, and The Midget and I are both members of. Named for the God-like worship of senior management exhibited by many members.

Gamer: Zelda’s husband. Plays, makes, devours board games. Often deals with depression. I currently live wih him and Zelda.

jerkwad: Another team member. Possesses worse social skills than most five year olds. Awkward to be around, even more awkward to get rid of. He once spent half an hour in my office while The Midget and I were trying to sneak some alone time and didn’t take, “we should make that phone call now,” as a clue to get out.

Scarlet: The Midget’s boss for the past couple summers. So named because she is directionally, technologically, psychologically, and sometimes functionally impaired, knows it, and wields her southern accent like a flare gun. Her Kryptonite is having her hair played with. I once spent new years eve cleaning glass out of her car after someone stole her GPS.

Sheek: Friend of TM’s for several years. Joined my team in September. Unsure if The Midget has yet forgiven me for recruiting her. Starts every question with, “I’m gonna ask a stupid question,” smarter than she thinks, but needs to recognize she’s still a newbe and won’t know everything yet.

Tribble: One of my team members. Smart, funny, snarky. Her zombi apocalypse plan consists solely of, “be where [Tiger] is.” Nerdgasmed when a vendor showed up to an event on Halloween dressed as the Tenth Doctor. Named for the Tribble she gave me. frequently stops by my office on crap days to play with it.

Zelda: Friend for 10 years. The best thing to come out of my relationship with my batshit narcissistic college girlfriend. Harbors dominatrixical tendencies. Deals with Gamer’s depression by yelling at him and telling him she hates him. Got excited when I referred to our household as a “family”, “because dysfunctional triad of carbon based lifeforms took too long to say.”

#Adventblog Post 5: Oh Crappy day

#Adventblog Post 5: Oh Crappy day

With apologies to “Oh Happy Day”, it just sort of popped into my head as I was typing the title.

One would think that any day beginning with chick-filet fries and hot chocolate would not end with a bad mood, but one would be close to mistaken.

The day started out like many others. Zelda was leaving town, so Gamer drove us into work. As is tradition we stopped at chick-filet. Remembering what The Midget said, I figured I’d give their hot chocolate a try (we are compiling a ranked list of the best places to get it). It definitely is up there.

My team, with the exception of Jerkwad (having the social skills of a Rhinoceros and inability to somehow not figure out we do), almost always has an informal meeting first thing. This morning my boss decided Sheek would be taking her place at the big conference in January. I will admit to a mild amount of miftitude, but mostly because it took me three years to get to go and she’s been there three months. It is a good opportunity and hopefully she’ll learn something. I also got her to agree to float an idea I’m trying to shore up support for in the industry, so hopefully something will come of that. What really flipped my switch was the boss saying, “you’ll have to do a follow up [project], don’t pull a [Tiger].” To be truthful, I’m not sure if she was annoyed or just poking at me, because sometimes it’s hard to tell, but calling me out in front of another team member when you haven’t discussed the issue with me in months is probably a way to set me off. I also feel the project didn’t happen because she routinely rearranges my priorities to handle immediate projects at the cost of long-term goals slipping behind the back burner (a conversation we’ve had before). So I thought I’d offer Sheek a little advice, “don’t let your boss rearrange your priorities to the point where you don’t get it done.” Needless to say, the boss disagreed with that assessment. Before we could go any further with it, her meeting showed up and I went back to work. She seemed fine later, but I was feeling a little burned. I often feel like she gets annoyed at me for projects not being complete when I feel like I’m told to push them until later. Tribble told me I have to be more firm and call it out when it’s happening, and she’s probably right. TM listened to me rant on IM for a couple minutes. That all pretty much blew over, but the day still made an attempt at slapping me, quite literally.

I was putting a piece of equipment back into our lab, lying under the table running the power cable between the power strip and the drop hole. I’ve started setting the power bricks on top of the cable runners mounted under the tables and stashing the excess cord inside to keep it off the floor. Well, this time I didn’t have enough cord and the brick decided to fall… on my face. About 10 seconds after i stopped cursing, the boss walks in with, an as yet unbeknownst to me, meeting that I was to assist with. Two and a half hours later, I finished that up and went to lunch. I came back and finished putting the equipment back. Sliding my way out from under the table, I misjudged how far I was, popped up, and whacked the back of my head on the side. At this point I’ve pretty much figured Karma is telling me to go back to bed, so I do the next best thing and hide in my office for the rest of the day. We’ll just forget the fact that it was raining miserably and the bus took forever getting home, because, it’s December and that crap happens.

Gamer had tossed frozen pizza in the oven and run out to, “save my marriage,” (he had forgotten to take care of something Zelda needed done today) and asked me to take the pizza out of the oven. The appointed time came, and I dug around for the oven mitts. I found them, but realized they were of the thumbless variety, utterly confusing me. reaching into the oven expecting to find a pizza pan or a cookie sheet, I encounter the pizza directly on the rack. Okay, weird, but whatever. I’ll just slide it onto the cardboard… Good plan, but the pizza had other ideas. Somehow, it folded back on itself, and ended up in a shapeless pile of pizza gooh. for whatever reason, I got the other one off the bottom rack with little difficulty (clearly the mangled one now had my name on it). I took a bite and realized the thing was a bit doughy, not bad, but doughy. At this point, I’m kind of over the day and pretty much set off by all kinds of stupid things. I’m either annoyed or wanting to cry. It just was all hitting me wrong. I ranted at TM on IM about some pretty petty crap until she basically said I could rant all I wanted but she was going to read her book. At which point I switched into, “oh, okay, I’ve annoyed her. I should probably fix that” mode instead of the more appropriate “you’re being an irrational idiot, calm down and cuddle” mode. Thankfully she’s wonderful to me and talked me past the insecurities so I was able to get over the rest of it too, chalking it up to a stupid day that should just go far far away. Oh, and gamer said the pizzas were way undercooked. Ugh.

Later, after I finished cleaning the oven, I told TM I’m craving a spanking. I told her that had we been together and I been her I probably would have had me over her knee as soon as I started getting whiny and ranty. She said she actually would have done it this morning and been done with it. I was a bit surprised, but I’m guessing because of the snark factor with the boss. Also, guess that’s why it’s a good thing she is the one who gets to decide when I get one, not me. I’ve actually never had that, a spanking because of behavior. I’m curious if it would work. I have no real basis to know. She said I’ll find out some day though. 🙂

I’m very lucky. I’ve found a woman who is willing to explore with me, and figure out the things that make me tick, and make me me. I’m glad I get to do that for her too. I’m also wondering if all of the Adventbloggers are going to have a rant worthy day to help provide us material. 🙂