I need to start writing more. In order to give the muse the swat to the butt she needs, here’s another Not Me Monday post.

• the little bastard gnome, also known as the Snooze Button Fairy, did not make a special stop at my bedside so he could entice me to sleep in with candy and puppies.
• I did not let him win for an extra half hour.
• I did not have to resist the urge to edit the hell out of a poorly written form we were coding for an external piece of the organization.
• I did not say no last night when asked to do something last minute that would have meant messing up plans with friends. (to something I should have been asked to do weeks ago)
• I did not have to politely assert myself and gently remind my former boss that I don’t work for her
• this did not happen in the form of a passive aggressive insistence on meeting at the time originally agreed upon instead of when she randomly decided she was ready.
• I do not want to be tied up.
• I definitely do not want a spanking.
• I did not eat one more crab rangoon than I probably should have.
• I did not accidentally find out I was invited to a work dinner Thursday night and don’t have to change my consult with the laser zapping place to go.
• I am in no way looking forward to it, because expensive food is doubly horrible and in no way more delicious when someone else is paying for it.