Marie‘s comment on Twitter this morning reminded me I use a lot of pseudonyms here and many of you may have no idea who I’m talking about. This is eventually going to be more fleshed out, as a collaboratoin between me and HTe Midget, but for now, here’s a brief rundown of the people I deal with who I can’t link to :):
The Midget (often simply TM): My friend for almost five years. Best friend since I can’t remember. Partner. Someday will be my wife. Incredible woman who encourages me, cares for me, gives me strength, and lets me do the same for her. Met through mutual friend who we both can no longer very much stand because of his philandering ways. Saying we met through the Internet, while technically true, sounds creepy and wrong to her. Admits to being geek adjacent; massively in denial about her true level of geekness. My anima gemella.
The church of JM: The organization I work for, and The Midget and I are both members of. Named for the God-like worship of senior management exhibited by many members.
Gamer: Zelda’s husband. Plays, makes, devours board games. Often deals with depression. I currently live wih him and Zelda.
jerkwad: Another team member. Possesses worse social skills than most five year olds. Awkward to be around, even more awkward to get rid of. He once spent half an hour in my office while The Midget and I were trying to sneak some alone time and didn’t take, “we should make that phone call now,” as a clue to get out.
Scarlet: The Midget’s boss for the past couple summers. So named because she is directionally, technologically, psychologically, and sometimes functionally impaired, knows it, and wields her southern accent like a flare gun. Her Kryptonite is having her hair played with. I once spent new years eve cleaning glass out of her car after someone stole her GPS.
Sheek: Friend of TM’s for several years. Joined my team in September. Unsure if The Midget has yet forgiven me for recruiting her. Starts every question with, “I’m gonna ask a stupid question,” smarter than she thinks, but needs to recognize she’s still a newbe and won’t know everything yet.
Tribble: One of my team members. Smart, funny, snarky. Her zombi apocalypse plan consists solely of, “be where [Tiger] is.” Nerdgasmed when a vendor showed up to an event on Halloween dressed as the Tenth Doctor. Named for the Tribble she gave me. frequently stops by my office on crap days to play with it.
Zelda: Friend for 10 years. The best thing to come out of my relationship with my batshit narcissistic college girlfriend. Harbors dominatrixical tendencies. Deals with Gamer’s depression by yelling at him and telling him she hates him. Got excited when I referred to our household as a “family”, “because dysfunctional triad of carbon based lifeforms took too long to say.”