Sometimes, when encountering an ex partner, the brain triggers the fond memories, sometimes only the bad memories, and sometimes you get just enough of the fondness to make you nestalgic before your brain reels yu in, slaps the back of your head, and reminds you not to be stupid.
In a nod to how not to organize a seminar, I finally got called Sunday and was told what they wanted me to talk about in the break-out session I had been asked to co-lead Monday. I also found out that my ex girlfriend from sophmore year college would be presenting as well. This news tripped a lot of memories and emotions for a while. She, while not my first relationship, was a number of firsts for me, and no matter how batshit narcesistic she ended up being in the end, there will always be things I will remember.
She lived two states away, and at the beginning we spent a lot of time e-mailing, talking on the phone, and IMmming. Somehow we stumbled into a mutually shared interest in spanking and we began exploring it. The next time she came up to visit me at college, I was just looking for an excuse to get her across my lap. It came in the form of her “bratting” me about some Oreo cookies we had just purchased. I forget the exact reason, she was probably hiding them, but it gave me the excuse to try giving my first actual spanking.
Though I don’t recall exactly what provoked it, I do remember sitting on the couch under my abscent roommate’s loft, pulling her across my lap, locking my left arm around her waist, rubbing her ample bottom through her tight jeans, and finally beginning to slowly spank her. As my hand rained down again and again; as she began to squirm; I knew I was hooked.
Relief turned to mild protests when she was told to stand, and my hands moved to the button of her jeans. Lowering them to her ankles, I again moved her over my lap, this time holding her waist and putting one leg over both of hers. Rubbing her warming bottom through the thin lace string bikini panties she favored, I soon began spanking again. Slowly growing the strength of my swats.
A combination of my inexperience, and what I would later learn was her incredibly high tollerence for pain, resulted in her never approaching tears, but the moans and yelps coming from her mouth were quite enticing. The heat against my hand as I warmed her bottom also helped contribute to my enjoyment of the situation.
After putting her in the corner and telling her to keep her hands laced behind her head for about 5 minutes we resumed our day, but that was very much the beginning of the kinky side of our relationship. It was also the first time I knew for certain that I was a spanko.
She was also the first girl I ever tied up. Interestingly, she didn’t like having her hands tied away from her body, but was totally fine if they were tied to her waist.
She was also the first person to actually top me. I found myself over her lap a number of times getting her hand and her hairbrush. There was also the requisit time with my nose in the corner. However, the time she washed my mouth out with citrus flavored soap was just freaking mean. I hate citrus. She occasionally tied me to her bed and teased me, sometimes granting release too.
She was also the first, and only person RL, that I expressed my crossdressing with. She was accepting of it and I was even able to share her outfits. When I was with her I was required to be wearing panties.
Her roommate was out one night and she was looking for something in her closet and found a leather belt instead. Of course, I had to order her to bend over and “punish her for snooping in the closet”. I bought my own that week, and have never owned a different type of belt since.
There were other good times too. That unfortunately aborted threesome in Florida, the first time I ever went into an adult toystore, and exploring ageplay (even though I never got her into a schoolgirl uniform), chief among them.
Unfortunately, outside of exploring kink, our relationship was simply unstable and unhealthy and it was eventually necessary for me to remove myself from it. She was manipulative and everyone around her was there to make her happy, it wasn’t necessary to return the favor. This relationship, and the traveling to see her every other weekend (which necessitated 4 days) because, “if the relationship is important you’ll make it work,” was a big contributing factor to my flunking out of college. She knew how to yank my strings too. I’m the kind of person that, if I care about you and something’s wrong, I’ll spend as much time as it takes with you to help fix it. Interestingly enough, issues always popped up when I there were things I wanted, or had, to do, even project deadlines. I remember one assignment that I struggled to get in on time because I spent the entire night before (which I had budgeted for writing this program) consoling her on the phone because she was worried she was pregnant. Allow me to point out the following:
- When we played and she actually touched me, no blowjobs from this girl, there was always something between her hand and me to catch the fluids; also
- We. Never. Had. Sex!
Dammit Tiger, you really were a dumb ass for not recognizing that as manipulation instead of the .00000001 chance that she was actually somehow pregnant she claimed it was.
There’s plenty more, but I’ll spare you.
All of these thoughts and memories floated around in my head Sunday afternoon. I happened to be meeting a mutual friend for lunch and they were talking when I walked up. Yeah. Totally froze me out. Thank goodness. Cuz if she’s still bitter, I feel les obligated to try to be a nice guy. Even though I still offered to deliver lunch or coffee since she was working through lunch. headdesk
Oy, this blog really is turning into cheap therapy. Sorry. I’ll try to write something more fun next time.